dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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