some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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