So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
