Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
