Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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