Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
