nut hugger
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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