let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
