I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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