Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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