we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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