You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
