I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
