Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
