sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
