Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
