how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize