I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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