I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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