Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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