nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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