I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Mom said you looked used
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
