Already got asked if we're dating
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
