I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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