If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
