He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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