whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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