Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
