There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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