i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
