question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize