ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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