...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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