Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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