mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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