he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
