my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize