She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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