I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize