i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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