So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
