best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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