I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
