I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
