what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
this boner is exhausting
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
