My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
