so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
