You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
