I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
