definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize