Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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