do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
