Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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