I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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