Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
