Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
