I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
