he wants to bone in the snuggie
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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