This dress was meant to end up on your floor
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
