Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
