Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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