Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
