I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
