So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
