im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
