And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
we should paint friendship bongs
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
