Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
