Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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