You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
