sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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