If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
