WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
