I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
These tits shall not be calmed
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